Recent events have me reflecting on my experience, observations and feelings about the discrimination of minorities in our country. I have reached the conclusion: Justice reform begins with our words. As an adoptee who is clearly not biologically related to my adoptive family, I grew up repeatedly being asked the same question by nearly every…
If you ever wondered how Mother’s Day impacts adoptees, here are my raw, sincere reflections. Each day you cross my mind, some more than others, especially today and every Mother’s Day. Today is the day dedicated to celebrating you. Celebrating us. But there is no us. I never experienced you in a way that calls…
Love is a gift, not a given. As an adoptee, I have learned this lesson, firsthand. Love is a choice, whether people are connected by blood or not. Yes, mothers are suppose to love their children, but this is not always the case. It wasn’t for me. My mother abandoned me as an infant and…
There are mixed views on referring to adoptive parents as heroes. Some say elevating them to this status takes the focus off the loss of the adopted child and incorrectly frames adoption as a rescue mission. Others believe the brave choice to raise a child left by their biological families is heroic. My thinking is…
Change is inevitable for all of us. Ironically, it is the only certainty in life other than death. Change can come from the choices we make or from external forces beyond our control. Adoptees who are adopted as infants begin our lives with a very unnatural life-altering change when we are separated from our birth…
In my most recent post, I provided 10 reflection questions to help adoptees understand our common ground. Fellow adoptees related to the situations in the reflection questions because of the shared drivers behind the outlined experiences. Each adoptee has a unique story and perspective, yet we are bonded by the experience of being separated from…
We adoptees often grow up with confusing feelings and experiences that can hold us back from showing up in the world as our best selves. While every child is a work in progress, growing up detached from your natural parents can weigh heavily on an adopted child’s mind and heart. Adoptive parents, I want you…
With Mother’s Day approaching, I find myself reflecting upon my experiences growing up without a mother, and then becoming one. Since childhood, this holiday has weighed heavily on my heart because of this significant gap in my life. Despite the amazing love and support of my father and his family members who cared for me…
When I served on the Board of Directors for Adoption Network Cleveland, a community organization that helps everyone touched by adoption, I had the opportunity to give a speech about my experiences growing up as an adoptee with “high maintenance” hair at an event for adoptive parents of children with diverse backgrounds. I created this…
I was told my adoption story at a young age (see my story tab) and I grew up knowing I was adopted. Despite the love of my amazing father and the transparency around my adoption, I had questions, confusion and painful feelings I just didn’t understand. I remember feeling like an alien because I didn’t…